ಸಿನಿಮಾರಂಗದಲ್ಲಿ 23ವರ್ಷ ಪೂರೈಸಿದ ಖುಷಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಪತ್ರ ಬರೆದ ಸುದೀಪ್

23 years.
Jus like any young dreamer,I too walked into this amazing world of Cinema. Just the thought that I had decided be part of a magnanimous fantasy world and a fraternity where my hero’s,icons n idols lived, was an Inexplicable feeling. Wanting to make it big wasn’t even on th agenda.

To me ,,Every studio, every set,every costume on the hanger, every set property, every light, almost everything n everyone associated with cinema were magical. It’s very difficult to express in words the thought process that runs through every newcomers mind. Even our legends , who once were new,,wouldn’t have escaped this feeling.

Commuting was a huge issue to me those days, as I wouldn’t take money from my parents. Yeah! adolescence was playing it’s role very well 😁. Visiting sets ,studios or any directors place to give auditions was getting a bit difficult. Few friends then had been of great help in lending a few bucks and also Thanks to my cricket n my part time jobs that fetched me little money and Priya’s job (that made her financially the sounder of us),I could sometimes borrow from her, also her Scooty too. I thank my Appa for having allowed me to go through this process ,, coz that experience was priceless .
Come Friday and I would be so much in a hurry to go through Kannada papers to catch a glance of all the film advertisements and their designs. The car blasts ,, weapons, nature ,, faces etc in th posters backdrop were a different high. Would imagine myself in every poster and that automatically brought a huge grin on my face. What a beautiful phase!!

I was invariably a part of many occasions connected to cinema.Thanks to my Appa for his contacts and our Hotel Sarovara ,where something connected to films would be happening every alternative day,,Sometimes shoot,,sometimes mahuraths and plenty of them. Used to skip my college to witness these occasions n shoots. The vastness of our hotel gave me enough space to camouflage myself between crowd to ensure I’m outta Appa’s sight 😁 , Amma was always a liberty. Almost all actors have had their shoot at Sarovara Hotel,, giving me an opportunity to see them from close quarters. Rare,and very beautiful opportunities I should admit. On these days of such occasions at Sarovara,, for some reason I would dress up well ,,no idea as to why. I wasn’t getting ready to get selected for a role, Or to be noticed, neither Was i getting ready to impress anyone, yet,, I would😎.
Very fragile years were those where every advice coming from film connected personalities held prime priorities n every statement considered and Put into affect immediately. May it be about Getting new portfolios clicked, joining someone to assist the film, going to editing room to learn edit,,,joining Classes to learn fights or dances,,,,,literally,every advice considered ,except when someone would tell me “Why Films, why not
continue the family business” ,,Hated this line. But then I had no option other than to just hear it out. It wasn’t a great feeling, but then I guess this will continue for as long as there is no GST On advises. 😁😁.
Have visited many hotels, travelled to many areas n sets to meet directors and producers . One house outside which I waited for hours n days was that of Sunil Kumar Desai sir ,,n zero regrets on that . Actually it was my choice to stand there to have one interaction with this great maker coz Meeting him on sets or elsewhere was a myth. It wasn’t easy then, to find addresses or to collect infos as to where to find whom unlike today,, where even if I missed my own address ,,,Google is right next to me tapping my shoulder n saying “son ,,u r heading the wrong direction” .
Presence of a few in my life made huge impacts. Ambrish mama in particular. His life was like today’s Harry Potter world. So amusingly colourful, filled with laughter , surrounded by people all the time, cars , fancy watches ,,late night dinners etc. name it ,,n he lived it all. Who wouldn’t wanna have a life his size !! I was no exception. So here was my thought,,, get popular n I will have it all. Yeah my determination got stronger .

Shankar nag sir ,,, have seen little of him yet an inspiration to live Cinema n Life. TIL today if anyone thinks of him ,, I’m sure it’s gonna be a pic of him in a white Kurtha and a denim and yes,,,standing . We can’t even imagine him seated ,,, an epitome of energy n speed. He wasn’t around during my cinema craze phase,,but his lifestyle and craving to do more was very inspiring.
Ravichandran sir and Shivanna,, the hotties then n youth icons every new comer aspired to be. Their fan following surely was so inspiring that I would tell myself,,become someone someday and have at least half of their following.
One man I always wanted to assist was Upendra sir. He still wasn’t Uppi the actor then. He was regular to my Hotel at the veg garden restaurant with his huge group, sipping coffee and always into discussions. This list will not end and I’m just naming a few.
I did join Acting classes on the advice of a few and I did realise after a bit that acting is an understanding of what’s expected from an actor and it differs from director to director. How can one teach u how to act ?Its as similar to how can one teach a person to be sensitive!!It’s jus ones sensitivity that brings out the performer in an actor. Well,,,this thought of mine ended my course n I took the next train back to Blore from Mumbai. Those days, getting back to blore was almost a 24 hour affair coz train ticket was all I could afford. Flights werent even remotely an idea.
Post returning to blore I Used to move around a bit with Upendra Sir until one day he Forced me into shooting a Portfolio. By this time I was very keen on getting into direction and again this advice put me back on the acting track. Visited a few makers with my newly clicked pics until one day a proposal was put forth for Appa to invest a little and I would be getting a good piece of a role in a movie. I was super excited when this role came to me as Appa made sure I had no clue of him investing money. It was very easy for him to burst my excitement balloon with one truth,,but he didn’t . He let me live with my excitement . I wish I had known then about this truth.. I would have probably given him one tight hug n cried. Not coz he invested for me,,, but for the mere reason that I was so cut off from my Appa when he was indirectly doing everything for me . How badly we conclude about our parents n do wrong. Luv u Appa . My parents n my family have been my backbone during the phase when I absolutely had nothing but desires… a desire to become something in the field of cinema.
Finally came 31st Jan 1996, when the mahurath of this film took place at Kanteerava Studio and I officially became a part of this wonderful industry.
What happened to this film?why didn’t it complete?why was I called an Iron Leg?what did I do for the next few years post this film being shelved !! why I went into television!! ,,,
accidents ,,,,operations,, struggle etc is a different story by itself .
I would like to thank many for thier contributions that’s helped me get this distance. Yes,, I have a lot more to travel n I Will get there too.

23 years have passed by so quickly n I have lived,enjoyed and accepted every bit of it happily. I’m an actor with restrictions and flaws, n I have my limitations.
I have fought odds to just survive,, I have had my bit of downfall n learning.
I know for sure ,, it ain’t the end. I will fall again,,but I shall rise as many times I fall.
I was never here to conquer , And I shall never want to conquer. This wonderful industry is beautiful enough for me to just live in,,,,And I shall.

Thank you all for having me Around,,
Thank you all for still Wanting me Around.
Much luv n hugs .

Nimmava ,
Ee
Kichcha Sudeepa 🙏🏼